Day 20

I. AM. SO. GASSY. I cannot even believe this! Well, I guess I can. So much fiber!

I did pretty damn well this week! I ellipticalled 4 times and felt no exacerbated symptoms. And apparently 20 minutes of exercise has the same effect as taking an antidepressant. I was definitely feeling that. Finally. Thank God. I was also super awesome with my points. I barely ate out and I made good decisions. By 11:00 last night I still had 6 flex points to go and I didn't use any activity points that I earned back.

Now the downside: By 11:00 last night I was starving and after a long stressful week of meticulously counting and measuring, and much self-inflicted pressure to do good, I felt the extreme need for freedom. I didn't do anything rash. Well too rash. I took a spoon to the jar of peanut butter (with honey), grabbed my jumbo bag of raisins, slugged down some 1% milk, and topped it off with a low fat yogurt and fiber one bar. I don't know if that sounds heinous or not that bad. I will say, I did not eat myself sick. At some point I think I was eating to rebel/break away/feel my freedom rather than to satisfy hunger but I'm trying not to get down about it. It was, perhaps, an excessive quantity but not unhealthy foods. It could have been much worse, and I have been awfully hard on myself. In addition, the working out has definitely made me hungrier. It was not the best way to end my nearly flawless week but it's over and done and in the past. I was not great with my splendas either. I had, like, 4 coffees this week and a few teas. All decaffeinated but all with artificial sweetener. I had PMS. That's my only excuse.

And an update: While heating up my third serving of Dover Sole my roommate scolded me for not throwing it all in the garbage. I called my mother back and asked her, "What the hell? You didn't seemed panicked on Sunday, I'll be fine, right?" to which she told me that she didn't want to disappoint me after my culinary feat, but she had been concerned since the beginning. I also talked to my dad and then threw the rest of the sole out. I'll have to make that recipe again. IN A METAL BAKING PAN. Better safe than dead.