Day 25

I had a fun weekend with a fair share of indulgences. One thing I've realized is that the last indulgence in a group of many is certainly not as sweet as the first (few). That's why they are indulgences. While I've recently been growing batty under extreme restraints, that is the very thing that make indulgences so sweet. They're occasional and special.

I've been trying to eliminate all of my 100 calorie packs and Weight Watchers ice cream bars and other diet desserts chock full of artificial sweeteners and chemicals. By cutting those out completely and not replacing them with, say, 2 Hershey's kisses or 1 cookie, I have made myself into a wild child that goes bat shit crazy once let off her leash! While my one time goal was to eliminate the diet desserts and the real desserts, denying myself completely makes me a ticking time bomb. I'm now left with the question, do I allow diet desserts back into my life or do I allow full fat fatty things back in my life that could be potentially dangerous should a binge be brewing?

I need a new approach. I need to think of food only as fuel for the body. It is not a reward, it is not comfort, it is not love, it is not rebellion. Food is what we need to survive. By putting good nutritious substance into my system, I am taking care of myself. By binge eating junk food, I am abusing and punishing my body. My cravings are not working against me, they are not to be squashed and denied, they are to be honored and accommodated rationally. Does this sound like a bunch of zen bullshit? Because that's not what I'm going for...I want to be good to myself rather than continue a somewhat destructive pattern.

I'm going to detox for the next 5 days. Not a crazy liquids only detox or a eat only grapefruit detox, but a simplifying and minimalistic detox. I want to eat primarily fruits and vegetables, lean meats, and dairy. I will leave out extraneous carbs, sugars, salts, caffeine and chemicals. I don't want to eat pre-prepared foods, I want to know everything that is going into each dish that I eat. For example, here's my plan for tomorrow:

Breakfast
Oatmeal with a dash of cinnamon, 2 tbsp. sliced almonds, and 2 tbsp. dried cranberries and 2 small mandarin oranges
Snack
2 bananas
Lunch
1/2 c. plain 0% greek yogurt with 1 c. mixed berries
Snack
myoplex light protein shake
Dinner
6 shrimp sauteed with sugar snap peas and 3 tbsp. soy vey marinade over 1/2 c. quinoa
Snack
5 hard boiled egg whites

Obviously I will not be making the protein shake but I think it's important to include for a quick, post-workout refuel. There will be no additional oils or extraneous snacks. There will, however, be lots of water and multivitamins. With 5 of these days in a row, hopefully I can shed any pounds I may have put on this weekend and shrink my belly in time for D-day. W-day. Weigh Day.