My mission is conceived.

I am undeniably a yo-yo dieter and I have been for years. Through the ups and downs I think I've developed some very unhealthy habits. I'm strict at sticking to a diet if I have a great deal of control. I exercise, I feel great, I watch the numbers on the scale decrease...however, if I do not have control I SPLURGE! I am an extremist! I'm either super duper good or the lardiest fat pig imaginable. I've completely forgotten how to just be normal!

Besides the physical toll this takes, my mental state is fragile too. When I'm good, I feel happy, attractive and optimistic. When I'm bad I feel like a disgusting, ugly, obese, failure of a human. (I do have a little fun though.) I think the key is probably to control as much as I can as often as I can, and when I can't control everything don't go overboard. SELF control things instead of giving up and surrendering.

I am not that fat. I'm currently a size 12. In my adult life I can remember being as small as a size 10 and as big as a size 14. I realize that it's not that huge of a range, but I would have hoped that by this point in my life I could have hit a lower bottom and maybe as a result hit a lower high, like size 6-size 10.

I don't want to weigh myself right now...if I had to guess I would think I'm maybe 163 or so. I want to get to 135. I REALLY want to get to 135 and I'm quite certain that it's totally realistic. 100 days, that's about 14 weeks or 3.5 months...that's long enough to do some serious damage on this cellulite and short enough to not be too overwhelming.

I want to permanently adopt good eating habits, binging is pretty gross. I want to stick with it and stick with it long enough for it to stick. THIS BLOG is going to hold me accountable. I will think of you when I feel like cheating. I will not lie to you. I will commit to fighting this battle for 100 days.